[Spencer Daily Reporter nameplate] Fair ~ 45°F  
High: 47°F ~ Low: 32°F
Thursday, Apr. 17, 2014

Take some time to smile

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Some chuckles this week, courtesy of some of my friends with a much more creative sense of humor than mine. It's been that kind of week and looking for some light-hearted laughs. Thanks for the input gang.

I'm looking forward to sharing them with you. For your enjoyment, or lack thereof perhaps.

Confirmation

There is finally conclusive evidence that Osama bin Laden and Muammar Gaddafi are dead.

Yesterday, they both registered to vote in Chicago.

Five Rules to Remember in Life

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.

3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Learned life lessons

*These are attributed to Roy Rogers. I can neither confirm nor deny his involvement - RC

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men:

The ones that learn by reading.

The few who learn by observation.

The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience. And a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Aging life lesson

*One again, not mine but worth sharing. Not sure who gets the credit. - RC

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.

One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And, finally, If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

God bless everyone and have a great weekend - RC



Respond to this story

Posting a comment requires free registration. If you already have an account on this site, enter your username and password below. Otherwise, click here to register.

Username:

Password:  (Forgot your password?)

Your comments:
Please be respectful of others and try to stay on topic.

Randy Cauthron
One Man's Perspective