It takes all sorts of people to make this melting pot of ours give off a strange odor. I want to take a few minutes to share with you some of the odd folks we call fellow Americans.
These stories are provided courtesy of the Associated Press.
Police say an Arizona man stole several baby albino boa constrictors at a pet store by stuffing them in his shorts.
(There's no joke here, but you can write your own punch line if you would like.)
Eric Fiegel was arrested after police reviewed surveillance footage from Predator's Reptile Center. They say a video shows the 22-year-old man entering the store, removing several snakes from their cage and placing them in his shorts before exiting the store without paying.
He later traveled to another pet store and traded several of the snakes for $175 and a large reptile tank.
* Money makes people do crazy things.
A couple of Pennsylvania newlyweds are in lockup after police say they were caught shoplifting food from a supermarket for their wedding reception.
Allegedly, allegedly I remind you, 32-year-old Arthur Phillips III and his bride, 22-year-old Brittany Lurch, were arrested after taking more than $1,000 in merchandise from a Wegmans supermarket in State College.
Police say the couple was captured on surveillance footage loading a shopping cart and leaving the store without paying.
* People, people, people - you can't get away with anything anymore thanks to these surveillance cameras. A grown man can't put snakes in his pants and people can't walk out of a grocery store with a grand worth of groceries to feed party guests. Plus, if you're 22, apparently your apt to do dumb things. Just a heads up 22-year-olds, know you're gonna get caught.
A Connecticut man was so upset about the lack of parking enforcement in his town that he parked his car illegally in a handicapped space and called police over a dozen times. When they showed up, they subdued him with a stun gun and arrested him.
Shelton police say they had to use the stun gun on Michael Andes Thursday morning after he became combative and screamed at officers that they weren't doing their job.
* Sure, I may complain about officers not rousting rouge lemonade stand vendors, disguised as small children, but I'm not nuts enough to call attention to my own transgressions. Believe me officers, you will never have to worry about me calling and complaining about you not stopping me any traffic-related violation. By the way, not certain of Michael Andes age, but it wouldn't surprise me if he was 22. Just saying.
Stay safe and have a great - crime free - weekend.