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Sunday, Mar. 1, 2015

Book 'em Dano

Saturday, August 13, 2011

I've held my tongue long enough.

And that's not an easy thing to do, it's kind of slick.

But I want to bring your attention to a wave of criminal behavior that has essentially gone unchecked by both our Spencer Police and Clay County Sheriff's Office.

I apologize in advance to Chief Mark Lawson and Sheriff Randy Krukow in advance. I don't mean to call you guys out like this publicly but this kind of flaunting of the law cannot go on unnoticed any longer.

While you're out stopping drunk drivers, busting people for dealing drugs and apprehending thieves, there is a crime epidemic going on right under your noses, and you behave as though you just don't care.

Of course I'm talking about the illegal operation of unlicensed lemonade stands on street corners throughout Spencer. That's right, these pint-sized criminals are thumbing their noses at law and order, offering refreshing - albeit sometimes watered down - flavored liquids to passers-by without the federal government getting its fair piece of the pie.

To make matters worse, sometimes these smiling criminals - don't think we don't know what you're thinking - even offer cookies. You know what a dry cookie does; don't you? It makes you want a second glass of the yellow contraband.

And yet the law drives on by. On occasion they'll stop. They don't ask for a license. They don't insist on a permit. No. They actually drop a buck in the cup, swig down a glass and move on about their business like nobody was watching. Well sirs, I'm watching.

Police in Coralville shut down three stands during RAGBRAI alone in an effort to protect the health of the riders. Do you know what sugary drinks do to your teeth?

Additional such stand raids have occurred in the past month in both Wisconsin and Georgia. That's right, law enforcement doing their jobs.

So I suggest our local law enforcement needs to step up its game.

You got a drug dog, turn him loose. Letting him sniff out these little law breakers. A properly trained dog should be able to sniff out the Country Time powder before it ever even hits the water.

If they resist, you got tasers, use them. If they flee, shoot to wound.

This crime wave, most prominent during a heat wave, must be stopped to ensure the continued safety of the people of Clay County.


Comments
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cute

-- Posted by spencer lover on Sat, Aug 13, 2011, at 9:45 AM

Comic genius!!

-- Posted by Cookster on Tue, Aug 16, 2011, at 9:07 AM

Great fill up those jail cells

( who gets the night shift ? )

-- Posted by BRUSHPILE on Wed, Aug 17, 2011, at 3:17 PM

This is stupid. All they have to do is post a sign for free lemonade, donations appreciated and accepted.

All I ever hear is "what part of illegal don't you understand?", "the law is the law/rules are rules", etc. when the situation applies to someone people don't like. If you don't like the laws then change them. Just be consistent.

-- Posted by helped_myself on Fri, Aug 19, 2011, at 6:54 PM

I think you made a total ass of yourself writing this article. Law are laws--teach the kids to break them at an early age--RIGHT??

-- Posted by iowagirl on Sat, Aug 20, 2011, at 3:07 PM

CRABBY people, this was a fun article made to poke fun at the STUPID rules/laws people come up. Apparently you didn't get it. No one must have bought lemonade from your stand when you were little and your still made at all the other kids who made money. BOO HOO

-- Posted by Toodles712 on Mon, Aug 22, 2011, at 4:27 PM


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Randy Cauthron
One Man's Perspective