Like Mulder said, 'The truth is out there'

Saturday, May 28, 2011

One Man's Perspective

I think Donald Trump was on to something. Maybe he was just looking in the wrong country.

Agent Mulder, on the cult classic "X-Files" television show always maintained, "The truth is out there."

Trump wondered why President Obama would not - or could not - produce a birth certificate. Likewise I always found it strange that he simply wouldn't show it to the world and erase all the conspiracy talk. But he remained stubborn, and it wasn't until The Donald's big buck investigators were closing in, that the White House finally tossed them out there for all to see. Were they real or fake? We can only speculate, but they did the trick. Trump backed off, oh and by the way, he announced he would not be running for president. Apparently that was his campaign plan.

Perhaps Trump should have been more patient because in his own words, Obama is outed in an AP story published earlier this week. During his European tour, while in Ireland, the President said, "I've come home."

Say what? He's really Irish. Man, Trump had the right idea, wrong locale.

According to the AP story: "Obama downed a pint of Guinness with a distant cousin and checked out centuries-old parish records tracing his family to Ireland. From the tiny village of Moneygall to a huge, cheering crowd in Dublin, President Barack Obama opened his four-nation trip through Europe on Monday with an unlikely homecoming far removed from the grinding politics of Washington and the world."

Got to admit, didn't see that one coming. I'm still not sure I believe. Prove it, let's see the family tree.

And now, some helpful tips, provided me by a friend. The following "home remedies and safety tips" have been Snopes tested and approved for your use in the ever-continuing battle for good health. Don't waste a moment, implement them today.

* Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

* Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. (That's a number one, not a number two rule)

* For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Much cheaper than blood pressure meds. Caution: Remember to use a timer!

* A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

* If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

* You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

* If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

And finally, a daily thought to ponder: "Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs."

Have a great week!

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