With the family dollar stretched to the limit these days, I thought I'd take a few moments to share this piece that I had forwarded to me by a good friend. Every once in a while, I enjoy sharing these e-mails that I receive on a daily basis. See what you think.
* If you had purchased $1,000 of shares one year ago in:
- Delta Airlines, you will have $49 today;
- AIG, you will have $33 today;
- and Lehman Brothers, you will have $0 today.
But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you will have received approximately $210 or more.
Based on that fact, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle. It is called the 401-keg.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Aren't you proud to be an American?
And while I'm at it, since I haven't really been terribly political lately and since I can't next Saturday because it's an pre-election weekend, I'll share this piece from the same friend.
Which side of the fence?
* If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Republican reads this, he'll share this with his friends so they can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will throw it away because he's "offended."
Don't get offended, I have a lot of friends who are Democrats - that probably stuns most of you. In case you're wondering, the guy who forwarded me this particular piece is not, however. He is a strong conservative who served this country as a U.S. Navy Seal for 12 years before going into private business. So if you don't like it, tell him ... just make sure you do it from a safe distance.
Remember to vote Nov. 2, regardless of who you support. People are out there dying to defend your right to do so. God bless America.