There is hope: MOMS offers support

(Photo by Kris Todd) Kristi Wolthuis and Joey Thompson, right, participate in the local Moms Off Meth Support group. [Order this photo]

It took the taking of their children and deeper brushes with methamphetamine for Kristi Wolthuis and Joey Thompson to seek a relatively-new form of support in the area.

The two women, who each began the process of recovery in 2004, are both actively participating in the local Moms Off Meth Support (MOMS) group.

Wolthuis' recovery from methamphetamine's grip first began when police and social workers came into her home on Dec. 3, 2003, and removed her three children.

"At the time, I would never have considered them angels," she said in retrospect. "They devastated me by taking my children away."

Wolthuis remembers hopelessness, depression, numbness and insanity following.

"I felt empty. One thing that helped fill that loneliness was meth, meth and more meth," she recalled.

Wolthuis can also vividly remember sitting alone in her house, which had no electricity, water, food or family at the time.

A telephone was one outlet she had left.

"My son, who was in a shelter, called. He didn't want to talk to me anymore because I was lying and manipulating. He was expecting me to get better so he could come home. I just could not do it," she recalled. "...As my depression and drug abuse increased, it became harder and harder to live. At my lowest point I screamed: Let me live or let me die, but don't let me live this way anymore!"

Wolthuis then remembers meeting a friend who had just been released from treatment. Within three hours, that friend helped her get into a treatment center.

"I came back home and ... my daughter said she knew I was clean because now I called her every day. I had never called her when I was using," Wolthuis said. "...I want families to have hope and know that recovery is possible."

Thompson, like Wolthuis, was also familiar with meth.

The mother of three not only knew how "to put on a good show" and "have fun" while under its influence, she knew how to run from things. Thompson recalls her mind always racing, feeling as if people were staring at her and fighting to stay "clean."

"It was Easter 2003 when I lost my kids, and Easter 2004 when they returned home to me," she said.

The path to regaining custody, however, was not an easy one for her.

"God's grace helped me take a few little steps. I made it through treatment and the kids came home. I slipped a few more times. I never expected to change," Thompson recalled. "...But the pain of staying the same was greater than the pain of change. ... And an Easter gift given was the spirit of truth. I don't have to hide from the truth anymore. The truth has set me free."

There is Hope

On the street, methamphetamine is known by a myriad of names, including meth, crystal meth, crystal, ice, crank, speed, glass and chalk. The illegal drug, a stimulant to the central nervous system that can be smoked, snorted, orally ingested or injected, has a high potential for abuse and addiction.

Two area women who've each lost their children, struggled to regain custody of them and who now find themselves on the path to recovery from their addiction to it insist meth is a "huge problem" here.

"What's really sad is there are a lot of dealers out there that don't even care who they deal to," Kristi Wolthuis, who works for the Parent Partner Program, said. "It is getting into our school systems and it's finding its way to our kids. What's scary is it is getting to the younger generation more and more."

The Moms Off Meth Support (MOMS) group offers support to women who, due to their addiction, have lost their children. The goal of the local group, which will celebrate its third-year birthday next month, is to help women deal with the challenges in their lives due to substance abuse.

"The pain of having your kids removed is indescribable. But that's one common bond a lot of us share," Joey Thompson, the Compass Pointe Access to Recovery Program manager, said. "MOMS helps you walk through the pain, so you can learn to start dealing with some of this stuff."

"(It also helps you to realize that) it's OK to walk through the pain -- and you don't have to use drugs to get through the day or the pain."

But the area's network of support offered via MOMS is not only available to mothers whose drug of choice happened to be meth.

"It can be anybody who has any type of substance abuse problem," Thompson said. "We don't care if they have domestic violence and need help in getting through the system, we try to help people as a support network. ... The MOMS group is like a family. It teaches them that there is a safe place they can tell anything and be totally honest -- which is important for people who get into recovery."

Both Thompson and Wolthuis also assert MOMS is not a 12-step recovery program. Rather, it is a support network of mothers dealing with similar issues. In turn, MOMS also seeks to empower women through education, information, sharing, activism, the building and development of healthy relationships, and advocacy.

"It also gives you gender-specific issues," Thompson explained. "A lot of women who are in recovery have encountered sexual abuse, domestic violence issues and a lot of trauma they've endured throughout their lives. And, being in the system, a lot of moms have lost their kids or are at least in the Department of Human Services system.

"...When you're in the DHS, its timeline and your timeline often do not match up," the mother of three recalled. "That's one thing about the MOMS group: It's a safe place where we can hold each other accountable for our behavior. ... And get out of the problem and into the solution."

"It's a complex thing, and a lot of women carry a lot of shame for losing their kids," Wolthuis continued. "Because being a mom and losing your kids, that's a pretty bad spot to be in. And, people put a lot of condemnation or judgment against you, No. 1, for just being an addict."

"That's one thing about the MOMS group: We go and speak at public events because we want to break down some of the stereotypes around addiction," Thompson added. "There is recovery. And just because somebody might happen to have meth as a drug of choice doesn't make them a bad person. ... People can recover from that and change."

While meeting dates and times are subject to change according to participants' needs, the local MOMS group currently meets from 4 - 5 p.m. every Thursday at First Congregational Church, 1212 First Ave. W., in Spencer. Daycare is available the first Thursday of every month. For more information about the local MOMS group, contact Thompson at (712) 320-0202 or Wolthuis at (712) 330-8490.