Birth mother, adopted son to share personal stories

(Photo submitted) Todd Dykstra of rural Hartley and his birth mother, Mary Lee (Landis) Vantubergen of Grand Rapids, Mich., will serve as keynote speakers during Saturday's Birthright banquet and annual meeting in Spencer. The two met in person for the first time on Feb. 15, 2007.

What he believed was a "health issue" led Todd Dykstra to seek additional family medical information from his birth mother, Mary Lee (Landis) Vantubergen of Grand Rapids, Mich. The two, who met face to face for the first time on Feb. 15, 2007, will share their personal, heart-wrenching stories during this Saturday evening's Birthright annual banquet and meeting in Spencer.

The 38-year-old, who farms north of Hartley, was told by his adopted parents, Vern and the late Pat Dykstra of rural Hartley, that he had been adopted when he was 4 or 5.

"I didn't understand what it meant," Dykstra faintly recalled. "I probably thought about it for a little bit, had a question mark above my head and went back to playing."

When questioned about why he's planning to publicly tell his story during Saturday's annual event, Dykstra reported, "In talking to my birth mother about it, we thought if we could help out some girl that got in trouble to not get an abortion, that it would be worth it."

"The main reason I'm doing this is so nobody has an abortion," he added. "I've known people who have had them and I don't agree with it. Give the baby a chance.

Look how (my life) turned out: I grew up in a great family and had great opportunities. And I've got to say they were opportunities that if my mom would have kept me, I would have never had."

Vantubergen, who will also share her story this weekend, was a high school junior faced with an unplanned pregnancy who chose to give her son for adoption. Dykstra, the baby, was placed through Bethany Social Services and raised in rural Hartley along with two adopted siblings by his parents.

After being told by a Bethany Social Services representative to not search for his birth mother by himself, but to get a mediator to assist him, Dykstra found himself asking, "What can't I do it myself? Why should I pay somebody $300?"

"They had said it might take a few months. With the health problem I had, I didn't know if I had that long," he recalled. "So one day, I got sick of waiting and asked my wife if she would make the phone call."

On Jan. 17, 2007, Tammy Dykstra proceeded to call the first listing she and a friend had located on the Internet. After receiving a busy signal, she then dialed a toll-free telephone number on a second potential listing they'd found.

The telephone was answered by Marion Landis, Dykstra's maternal grandmother.

Dykstra, who visited with Vantubergen on the telephone for three hours late that same night, said the connection was instant.

"We knew," he said. "We think alike and we have a lot of similarities. That night talking, there really was a connection there."

After visiting with one another on the telephone every night for the next month, the Hartley farmer's family, including his wife and their three children, drove to Michigan to meet Vantubergen on Feb. 15.

"It was like looking in a mirror," he exclaimed. "We have the same eyes, the same nose and a lot of the same features."

After meeting his birth mother, Dykstra reported his diagnosed arrhythmia has not posed any problems for him.

Another "bonus" to this reunification, he quickly added, has been meeting his two half siblings and grandparents, Leon and Marion Landis of Granville, Mich.

* For more information about the Spencer Birthright banquet, contact Susan Christensen at (712) 933-5557. Due to limited seating available, reservations will be necessary to attend.

The local crisis pregnancy center will host its annual benefit dinner and meeting on Saturday, March 29 in the Harbor of Hope Room at Hope Reformed Church in Spencer. The evening includes a non-alcoholic social hour at 6:30 p.m. and dinner at 7 p.m.