Maybe this should be my new blog. This is a rough draft of my disclaimer: The names & identities of the characters in this blog have changed to protect the innocent. Any similarities to your own children are purely coincidental as your child is an angel who never cries, whines, tattles, hits or bites other children, pees on the floor, throws his/her food or feeds it to the dog. Your children are always dressed appropriately for the weather which includes but is not limited to pants, shirts, socks, shoes and yes, underwear. Your children always speak correctly and never sound like Scooby Doo or Elmer Fudd, even if mom & dad do and they certainly don't look at a large vehicle with big tires and call it a "fruck." Your children are always very polite and almost never tell me that my hair is a mess or that I have a big butt. They eat all their vegetables and never mistake toys, dog food, paper, dirt, rocks, leaves, or day old macaroni for lunch. They never tell family secrets yours or mine...no I do not say "that" word, and I know you don't either. (wink, wink)
Maybe I should stick with, "The names of the characters in this blog have been changed to protect the innocent."