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Friday, Nov. 28, 2014

Bully Beat down

Posted Monday, March 21, 2011, at 11:33 AM

http://landing.newsinc.com/shared/video....

I'm sure most of you have seen it but here it is anyway, the 15 year old victim and his bully. Be sure and watch the whole video. It appears to be excessive at first but I'm not sure that I protest his method of dealing with his tormenter. Before the days of bullying policies, this is how a bully received his comeuppance. I'd like to hear from anyone who has had direct experience with being bullied or being disciplined by a bullying policy in your school. Do the policies work? Why or why not? Are the policies being enforced? Do they make it worse? Are there other solutions that need to be explored?


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I generally talk to the ast. principle at lincoln. My boyfriends sister does as well when trying to get them to understand that our kids our targeted and nobody is doing anything. we did ask to see video before but the told us that because of where the kids were positioned they were unable to capture anything on the camera. I have had to talk to the ast. principle numerous times. I generally told my son to just get away from the kids that were bullying him and to tell an adult but that obviously didnt work when he was being wrote up for it, so i told him if he had to to hit them back and his cousins mom told them to all stick up for eachother. Seemed like a good idea but then basically they were all just getting in trouble. So now that they dont ride the bus things are improved but that isnt always an option for every parent and it shouldnt come to that. I also know that they now have an extra person riding each bus to try to take care of situations like this. I dont know if it has helped much or not. I have also had to just find the kids doing the bullying and talking to them myself and doing what i could to try to find out who their parents are to talk to them as well. The way I look at it the more I have been involved and did whatever I could to remedy the situation seems to have worked pretty well since the school offered little to now help. But not all kids have parents that are able to/willing to be so involved. I understand some teasing and this and that is normal for kids and is going to happen regardless but the physical bullying I have seen is just something I have never experienced before.

-- Posted by AshlyMeyer on Fri, Mar 25, 2011, at 9:15 PM

Ashly, i am sorry to hear what you are going through with the Spencer Schools not taking a stand on your son's situation. I see you talked to the school, but who? You may have to walk in there with the bullying policy in your hand and demand to speak to someone who can help you. If you have to light a little fire under them to take action, then maybe they will take your issues more seriously as they don't want to see you after them again and again. The bus is where my daughter has the most problems as well, but I think there are cameras on those maybe the next time this happens you can demand to see what took place. Trust me, if they know you mean buisness they will take care of it. Remember to empower your son too. Roll play with him. If you tell him what to say or do in that situation he might feel more comfortable with handling it himeself. My mom and I did that a lot. She gave me permision to stick up for myself, and it was really comforting having the script in my mind of what I would say to the next kid that tried picking on me. Im not telling you to tell your son to start kicking and screaming, its whatever YOU believe is right for you and your son.

-- Posted by mommy51331 on Thu, Mar 24, 2011, at 3:45 PM

My son has been bullied for months everyday here in spencer school. He was infact even wrote up on the bus for trying to move away from kids that were hitting him! I have talked to the school multiple times about everything that has gone on and yet basically nothing has been done. My son is only 7 years old and was scared to sit and eat breakfast at school by himself. This is completely unacceptable. It has come to the point where i stay and eat breakfast with my son in the mornings, had to put him and 2 of his cousins off the bus, and pick them up behind the school each day in an effort to try to minimize the bullying that he was receiving daily. There was an incident earlier in the year where a kid started hitting him in the head, keep in mind this kid was 10 or 11 and he is 7. His then 9 year old cousin came up to him and said stop hitting him and leave your hands to yourself. The kid then starts hitting her. Then her 12 year old brother then takes his sister and my son aside tells them to find somewhere to sit and tells the bully to keep his hands to himself and leave them alone. The kid then hits him so he hit the kid back. Due to him hitting the kid back he was kicked off the bus and wrote up. Now I do have to share that the other child was also but in my eyes I dont understand why my sons cousin had to be wrote up. I understand policies but this other kid was allowed to hit on three kids. now had my sons oldest cousin not stepped in this kid probably would have gotten away with it. I do understand the policies and think they probably help to an extent but I do feel some cases deserve to be looked at in an individual basis. I also feel like that schools feel like the policies themselves are fixing the situation and maybe need to be keeping a closer eye on things. I know my kids arent the only ones suffering this year.

-- Posted by AshlyMeyer on Thu, Mar 24, 2011, at 3:01 PM

Being a tall, Scandinavian-boned person, my mother always told me I needed to project the demeanor of my true self -- much more of a lover than a fighter -- but being somewhat clumsy and nerdy I was bullied. I was also bullied by a group of girls for being adopted.

When one of those girls was on the outs from her intimidating group, I then verbally harassed her. I'm not at all proud of it.

The group of girls persisted. I tried ignoring them. It didn't work. And I read a study saying it is even more ineffective now than it was back in the day. Numerous studies online support the fact that bullies who are ignored just persist and take it to the next level.

What made them stop was getting in their faces one day on the playground. I was seriously yelling at them. It startled them into silence. Then they started ignoring me. As far as the girl who was singled out whom I made fun of in elementary school -- by high school we got along okay and now we're Facebook friends.

The other three girls, I later found out, had some seriously messed up home lives. One ended up in foster care, another married her stepfather after he divorced her mother, the third one is in prison.

What I would tell my kids now is that you don't know where someone is coming from and that not everyone has had the advantages they've had. But that they have the right to stand up for themselves.

-- Posted by AmyPeterson on Thu, Mar 24, 2011, at 8:39 AM

The above commenter has a point. It would be great for kids to stand up for each other - to a point. The "fight fire with fire" method can work in the appropriate situation. In this case however, I'm not sure. That's not to say it doesn't work, but I think eliminating bullying by bullying could send the wrong message to kids - especially younger kids. Growing up, I was both bullied, and a bullyer. Not to the magnitude of the posted video, but I experienced bullying nonetheless. As far as being picked on... I was bullied in school pretty much from day one. As far as bullying... I think being picked on when I was little contributed a great deal. I started bullying around 6th or 7th grade. I can remember thinking "That's just how it is." Meaning that the older kids picked on the younger kids, and it was a part of life, or at least life at the time. Looking back, I regret bullying kids 100%. Since graduating twenty-some years ago, I have reached out to some of the kids and apologized. In each case, my apology was accepted, although they all told me that they either don't remember it, or that it was not a big deal. I am certain that they weren't being honest about that.

If I had one thing to say to kids in today's "growing up" world, it would be "Don't bully." First, it doesn't make you feel any better about yourself. Second, it doesn't make you tough. Third, it has a very strong effect on kids as they develop and grow emotionally. Fourth, and most important, you WILL regret it someday. I don't care you you are or think you are. You will regret it and wish that you could go back and change things. I couldn't go back. But kids today can stop before they start.

I hope the schools, churches, and most importantly the parents will acknowledge this issue and communicate it to children and adolescents.

Thanks

-- Posted by James211 on Wed, Mar 23, 2011, at 1:11 PM

I grew up in Omaha, went to public schools, and dealt first hand with bullying. It started in Elementary school. I was picked on by a boy everyday when I walked home from school. One day the anger built up in me and I turned around and punched the kid in the face. From there much of it was a blur, as I ran back towards the school being chased by the same boy that I punched in the face, other students accumulated to see the fight. I ended up falling on the playground, got sand thrown in my face and so on. I was defeated. I got up, went into the school bawling my eyes out. Two friends were with me as I cried to the principal. The next day the boy who teased me had to appologize. Then in middle school, I had problems with the "popular" girls. They would tell me they were going to beat me up, they tried to isolate me by stealing my friends and so on. I would come home crying to my mom almost everyday, so we went to the office and got the girls' mothers in there and talked it out. By then I had to switch schools because of where I lived. By then my history with bullying made me stronger. I started seeing other kids getting picked on and making kids cry. I got tired of seeing jerks walk around like the owned people so I took action. In class a girl walked in crying, so I asked her what was wrong. She said this boy was taunting her in the hallway. So I got up and left the class without permission and found the kid by his locker, the hallway was empty. I flipped him over, pushed him against his locker and told him to leave her alone. He was in shock and I think he got the point. I casually walked back into the class and took my seat. The kid almost disappeared! No problems. High school started and I was a little scared of it. Many times kids that wern't "cool" got picked on, they would come tell me what was going on and I "took care of it". sometimes it was in privaty where I had a talk to the bully and other times called for extreme measures such as calling them out infront of the friends at the lunch tables, or simply dragging YES dragging them into the principles office to have it all exposed to the authorities. I remember the principle telling me that I couldn't put my hands on the other kids, and I remember telling him that if the kids can hurt people with words, then I will continue hurting them with my hands. I never got in any major trouble for sticking up for kids, there was never a policy on bullying so I made up my own. Now that I am 30 years old, I have a 7 year old daughter, I tell her my stories of the days when I had to stand up for myself and others in hopes that it encourages her to stand up for herself and for others. I encourage her to find that lonley child on the playground and offer her friendship. Isnt that how you would want to be treated? I have to add that whenever she comes home with an issue with kids at school I snip it in the butt as soon as possible. I let my daughter and the school know that I take bullying very seriously.

-- Posted by mommy51331 on Tue, Mar 22, 2011, at 10:31 AM


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My name is Leah Cauthron. I was born and raised on a farm near Cushing, Iowa. My parents still live there. I am a conservative Catholic. I have been married to Randy for 22 years and we have six children. I received my degree in Criminal Justice from Eastern Wyoming College and as a mother of six and a daycare mom, I have used probable cause, reasonable doubt, search and seizure, Miranda rights, submission, arrest and interrogation technique as a part of my daily life. I can also shoot a .357 magnum with deadly accuracy. I have lots of opinions on lots of things. I am not an expert on anything but I read a lot and will gladly share that information if I find it accurate. I have a sarcastic nature and for the most part I have pretty thick skin and most things don't bother me for long. I don't like mudslinging or name calling so keep negativity of the personal nature to yourself. Enjoy and welcome to my opinion.
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